


JARVIS' human mistake

by LittleSpider



Category: Avengers, Clintasha - Fandom, clint barton/natasha romanoff - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpider/pseuds/LittleSpider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha and Clint are trying to keep their third pregnancy as quiet as they can for the time being. But JARVIS is about to make a very human mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	JARVIS' human mistake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hawkybarton](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hawkybarton).



Natasha looked over at Clint as they entered the elevator.  
Stark towers was imposing enough as a stranger, but even as a frequent visitor, Natasha never really got used to the crisp, chrome feel to the place.  
Clint smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close, his hand creeping around her stomach.  
“...Clint, he has CCTV.”  
“He's not gonna know.” he soothed. “You and I are the only ones who know. And its gonna stay that way.”  
She nodded and looked to him.  
“...Alright.”  
The elevator doors slid open to the main living area of Stark towers.  
JARVIS's cool, calm voice cut through the air.  
“Good Afternoon Agent Barton, Good Afternoon Agent Romanoff.”  
Clint looked around for the source of the voice.  
“...Right...” he smiled, turning around, swinging his arms. “You must be JARVIS...”  
“Indeed, Agent Barton. Mr. Stark is currently in the bathroom cleaning up Miss. Barton.” responded the voice.  
“...Say, can you do like, computer things?” he smiled.  
“Clint, leave Jarvis alone, he's busy.”  
“...Can you play solitaire?” Clint persisted.  
“Sir.” Jarvis responded.  
“...check it out! He called me sir!”  
“Nope, he called ME sir.” Tony began, coming out of the bathroom holding Viktoriya who was wrapped in a thick cotton towel.  
“...What happened?” Natasha began.  
“Your daughter...” he began casting a mock rebuking glance to the red headed bundle in his arms. “...Thought it was a good idea to grab Pepper's cold cream and repaint the LCD in the bedroom.”  
“God, Tony, Sorry!” Natasha began, going to scoop up her daughter.  
“It's fine. I've been looking for a reason to get rid of it...I tinkered with it a few months back, now every time you load the menu it comes up in Swahili.” he responded. “Pepper's just popped to get her clothes dry cleaned.”  
“I'm sorry for causing trouble.”  
“Red, forget it. It's alright. She was being a kid. That's fine.” Tony smiled. “Drink?”  
“No, thanks.” she responded.  
“You have a soda?” Clint asked.  
“Sure.” Tony nodded and handed Viktoriya to Clint. “Adam is tuckered out. We had a crawling contest.”  
Clint smiled and looked to Natasha as Tony went to the bar area.  
“Hey...” Clint said softly. “...Look, Tony's being a dad.”  
“...Someone inform Pepper...” grinned Natasha weakly.  
“Sir.” began JARVIS. “I am detecting a higher temperature reading from Agent Romanoff. Should I send for a medic?”  
Natasha's eyes widened as she stared to the main computer panel on the wall.  
“You feeling okay, Red?” Tony asked as he poured himself a soda too.  
“Of course.” Natasha lied. Of course her temperature was up. She'd spent half the morning vomiting and her body was a hive of hormones and chemicals and blood pumping and growing a foetus in her uterus.  
“Sir, I am detecting an increase in heart rate.” JARVIS persisted.  
Natasha could feel her cheeks burning as her eyes swivelled to Clint who stood up.  
“Hey, Jarvis, could you tell me what my horoscope says?” he began, trying to occupy the omniscient super computer. “Sagittarius, could you tell?”  
Tony walked over, casting a sideways glance at Natasha.  
“You do look kinda peaky, Red.”  
“I'm fine, Tony.” Natasha responded. “Mind your own business.”  
Tony nodded and shrugged, handing the soda to Clint before sitting down on the couch.  
Viktoriya was smiling at the TV screen as Jarvis had put up a kids TV show for her entertainment.  
Natasha was stood defensively, as the air grew thick, Clint sipping at his soda loudly to break the tension.  
Just then, the elevator door opened.  
“Good afternoon, Ma'am.” Jarvis began as Pepper walked in with a small, wrapped purple dress and white cardigan. Viktoriya's dry cleaning.  
“Hello Jarvis.” Pepper said absently, as though it were part of her daily routine to greet the AI. She smiled when she saw Natasha and Clint.  
“Oh Good, you're here...”  
“Pepper, I'm sorry about the col--”  
“Natasha. It's not a problem. I have enough to last me for fifty years. Never tell Tony Stark you like something...” she smiled teasingly at the billionaire who grinned back at her.  
“Sir. I am detecting an anomaly.”  
“What is is Jarvis?” Tony sighed, standing up and scratching at his glowing blue light on his chest.  
“I am detecting a non-human presence.”  
“...Non human...” Stark repeated going for his watch. “Are we talking non-human as in rat or non-human as in Loki and his boys?”  
“The heart rate is faint and fast...”  
“...Oh God Tony! It's gotta be a rat!!” Pepper groaned and edged towards the bar, obviously hoping to hop up onto it if she saw anything furry and squeaking.  
“Not a chance. 58 storeys up?” He began. “I'm suiting up.”  
“Is that necessary?” Clint asked. “Or do you just suit up for any random odd job?”  
“I'm not taking any chances.” Tony responded. “I am not going to ER for a rabies shot because I got bit by a rabid squirrel.”  
“Sir. The non human life form is in this room. Permission to intensify the scan?”  
“Do it, find the little bastard.” he began, striding towards a glass cupboard where one of his suits was standing sentry.  
Natasha closed her eyes and prepared for the inevitable...  
“...Sir. I think Agent Romanoff should sit down.”  
“Jarvis?” questioned Pepper.  
Realization dawned on Tony's face as he stared at Natasha.  
“...Are you pregnant...?”  
Natasha opened her eyes and looked to Clint pleadingly.  
Clint stood up and gave her a half sad look before looking to Tony.  
He nodded.  
“...We wanted to keep it a secret.”  
Tony looked at him exasperatedly.  
“....dude, Jarvis thought your baby was a rat...”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to accompany a roleplay on tumblr.


End file.
